The power of trust

Even though I've been fighting this battle for so long, sometimes I still struggle to accept that this is my life. I struggle to wake up in the morning knowing the day won't be easy, I struggle going through daily tasks as others do because they take so much energy, I struggle with going to sleep at night knowing tomorrow will be another tough day, but most of all I struggle with trusting that this is part of God's plan for my life. I continually have to place myself at the foot of the cross knowing that whatever the reason for this pain is, God has not chosen to reveal it to me yet. It's like the story told in Job, where it is explained that God is sovereign and we are not and therefore there are going to be things in this life that we do not understand simply because He is God and we are not.

Today I am most struggling most with trusting God with my future. In about six weeks I will have made it through my first semester of college being four hours away from my parents, and it has been some of the toughest times I've had to face so far in my life. Being so far away doesn't allow for the same kind of support I had while living at home and there have been and continue to be days where I long for the wonderful support my parents provide. Even though I will have made it through this first semester, it wasn't an easy road, and it scares me to think about what the future will be like. I want to continue my schooling and have a job as a nurse, helping people heal in potentially both physical and emotional ways, and yet I don't know how this could fit into my life with the pain I feel every day. I hope to some day meet a man that will provide for our family so that I can stay home with our children, but what if his job does not bring in enough so that I have to continue to work? Am I going to be able to handle the stress of a job and kids? I have to trust God that no matter what my future brings, He will give me the strength.

Today that is my prayer. That I would have childlike faith, trusting God in everything.