The beginning

I seem to struggle with staying connected with God when I don't write my thoughts to Him, so here it goes. I recently read the book Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman and in her book she shares some of her blogs. This gave me the idea to begin a blog, and though no one may read it, I know that God is listening.

I don't really know where to begin, as I have so many feelings inside of me that I feel are blocking my view of what God wants to show me. Therefore I am beginning to unfold these emotions one by one, slowly surrendering to what God wants to do in my life. The emotion I struggle with the most would be frustration. For so many years now I've battled these stomachaches and no matter what I do, nothing makes any bit of a difference. The doctors have no idea what is wrong with me and probably think it's all in my head. So both my mom and I began researching and continue to research what could possibly be causing all of this pain, and though we have continued to try new things we still have no answers. Each day I pray that God would take this pain away, and though He still hasn't, I have to trust in the fact that He has a better plan.

I sometimes think of myself like Paul when he asks God to take the thorn from his flesh and God answers in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

That passage just amazes me! Rather than becoming upset that God would not take the thorn from his flesh, he praised God for his pain because in his weakness he was made strong through Christ. My prayer today is that I would remember that in my weakness and pain, I may too be made strong.